Dear Math,

 

I know I don't like you

I know you don't like me

But it is in school

And I shall not be free

Every hardship

And every sad moment

From the corners, you seep

Oh, dear math,

You don't say my worth

That is all my heart can sayeth

I know it isn't Shakespeare but the dread of mathematics on me could only make me do this much. 

As I mentioned in the previous post, I wrote my first physical exam after the havoc of the pandemic. This exam determined everybody's worth in academics. Luckily, it was a practice exam for students like me, but anyway, I was the most anxious about my math results. I genuinely thought I did good but I knew the shadows of math would never leave my side. The only thing that would stay by my side even until I die. 

I never had any intention of scoring full on full in math. I didn't want to force myself to spend time on something that I don't like and isn't worth it for me. No matter the pressure from outside I stood my ground. I knew what I wanted and wanted to do. I knew I had to strengthen my strengths and leave my weakness. Not ignore it but just not spending as much time on it. 

I know that many share this sorrow and I speak for you when I say don't get threatened by it. You are good at things too. One thing you suck at won't change your life unless you give permission for it to. Life has got to be in our control. In our hands only. 

People will make us feel useless, but we should know ourselves better. Not being an academic achiever really imprints on people that we'd do no good in life. And I speak from experience. I need to highlight the fact that schools always put special attention to A students. Once a teacher of mine even said that the few toppers in our class would probably discover something great and amazing. What does that say? That the others won't discover anything or do anything great? The school I study in is the best at showing partiality between students. When I first joined the school, one of my friends I knew from before advised me to become a teacher's favourite. What does this say? Being an academic achiever has its downs too though. 

I had to come here and share my raw feelings to clear my head. Writing has always been close at heart to me. 

Lastly, all I want to say to you maths is to go solve your own problems. We've got our own to deal with. 

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